All Praise is due to Allah the Most High, the Knower of the
Hidden and the Manifest. Oh Allah! Send the Blessings on Your Holy Last Messenger,
Muhammad Rasullullah, sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, the Seal of the Prophets
through whom You completed your favor upon mankind by choosing Islam as our way of life.
Much has been said concerning the abuse of women is Islam. Both Western journalists and
Muslims alike have spoken out against the oppression of Muslim women. Too often do we hear
or see reports of Muslim ladies beaten by their husbands, denied educational opportunities
and forbidden to work in the marketplace or business world. In some extreme cases, some
women, reportedly have been tortured and even killed by an angry husband or his family.
Astaghfirullah! Allah, the Most High has said that oppression is worse than slaughter.
The believers are the best among mankind because they enjoin what is right and forbid what
is evil. Indeed, the weak and oppressed cry out to Allah, the Most High to rescue them
from those who would oppress them and to appoint, from His presence, someone who will
protect and help.
However, some Western journalists tend to blame Islam for the oppression of Muslim women,
regarding their rights according to un-Islamic values. On the other hand, some Muslim
journalists place the blame squarely on the shoulders of Muslim men in general without
qualification. Much of the rhetoric on this emotionally charged issue attempts to define
the status of women in Islam using un-Islamic terms such as 'feminism' or ambiguous uses
of the word 'equality'. Most of the problems in Muslim society, including the present
discussion can be attributed to lack of knowledge of the Deen of Islam and
hypocrisy. One who has sincere intentions, correct knowledge of Islam and strives toward
right conduct, will solve any problem, for himself and others.
Feminism is defined in Websters dictionary as: "...the movement to win political,
economic and social equality for women." Rather than attack the above definition and
any who subscribe to it, this writer will focus on the status of women and men according
to the Qur'an and Sunnah.
Allah, the Most High has honored women.
In Holy Qur'an, the mother of Hazrat Maryam, alaiha salaam, when she delivered
her child said: "...and nowise is the male like the female."
(3:36)
Hazrat Maryam was specially chosen by Allah and protected from
the touch of Shaitan. She is one of the four most righteousness women in Paradise. Yet she
was not made a prophet or messenger. Her nearness to Allah and high rank is clearly
established but her mission and function were different than her son, Hazrat Isa, alaihi
salaam.
When Hazrat Ibrahim, alaihi salaam, left his wife, Hadrat Hajar and their son,
Ismail, peace be upon them, in the valley of Mecca, in accordance with Allah's will, she
worried about finding water for herself and her son. She ran back and forth between the
two hills of Safa and Marwa looking for water. Allah, the Most High, sent an angel who dug
his foot into the sand and the spring of Zam Zam welled up, providing cool and refreshing
water to mother and child. To this day and for all the times to come, millions upon
millions of Muslims on Hajj run between Safa and Marwa in emulation of Hazrat Hajar and
drink from the same spring of Zam Zam because Allah has so honored the wife and mother of
prophets. Yet, she herself was not a prophet.
Hazrat Khadija, may Allah be pleased with her, owned a profitable business, yet her
husband, the Holy Last Messenger, peace be upon him, managed it for her. She was the
beloved of Rasullullah, peace be upon him, the mother of Hazrat Fatima and one of the four
most righteous women in Paradise, yet she remained at home.
Hadrat Fatima, the Rose of Jennah, may Allah be pleased with her, the daughter of
the Holy Last Messenger, peace be upon him, came to her father one day and asked for a
hand mill to help her grind corn. Her hands were callused from doing it by hand. Instead,
he, peace be upon him, gave her a special zikr. To this day, and for all the
times to come, Muslims, after salat, perform the zikr of Hadrat Fatima.
Hazrat Fatima, one of the four most righteous women in Paradise, the mother of Imam Hasan
and Imam Husain, may Allah be pleased with them, stayed at home and took care of her
family.
Hazrat Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, was the daughter of Hazrat Abu Bakr, may
Allah be pleased with him, and the wife of the Prophet, (pbuh). The Holy Last Messenger
loved her very much and it was in her house that he returned back to Allah. Unfortunately,
when Hazrat Aisha got involved in the politics of the time, it ended in tragedy, with the
death of thousands of Muslims at the Battle of the Camel. After the battle,
Hazrat Ali sent her a letter: "Hereafter: You have stepped out of your house for a
service from which you are exempted (which was not your responsibility). You, in your view
are desirous of reformation of Ummah. Please explain what connection women have with
forming armies. According to your conception, you are demanding the retribution of Usman's
blood, although he belongs to Bani Umayya and you come from Bani Taim ibn-i-Murrah. I
venture to say on oath that the person who has persuaded you for this venture and has
pulled you out of the house is the biggest sinner. As such Oh Aisha! Fear Allah, go back
to your house and stay behind the curtain. Wa sallam. (Al-Imamat wal-Siyasah, vol. 1, p.
55, reported in, Letters of Hazrat Ali Murtaza, ra, by M. Ayub Khan, p. 26)
Thereafter, Hazrat Aisha remained quietly in her home until Allah ta'ala called her in 58
AH. Hazrat Aisha was one of the greatest faqihs of Islam. She narrated many ahadith, most
relating to issues of law. Many companions used to visit her to solve some difficult
problems pertaining to deen. She issued fatwas in the Khalifates of Hazrats Abu Bakr,
Umar, and Uthman, may Allah be pleased with all of them. Her greatest works, after the
passing of Rasullullah, peace be upon him, was done from her home. Her biggest calamity
happened when she left it.
Allah, the Most High says in Holy Qur'an: "Men are
in charge over women in that Allah has favored the one over the other and that they spend
from their wealth..." (4:34) In this ayat, Allah, the Most High has
established the authoritative position of men over women. It is the responsibility of men
to protect and defend women. They must support them out of their means and they have to
pay (dowry), out of their wealth, for a woman's hand in marriage. In fact, the
tie of marriage is placed in the hands of men.
The responsibility of maintenance and protection of the family is great upon the man. He
is told by Allah to save his wife and offspring from the fire. He must provide a healthy
environment in which his family can grow in Islam, safe and secure. He must cooperate with
other Muslims in the building and defense of Islam for the safety and security of the
Ummat as a whole. Because Allah preferred the man over the woman, his duties as well as
his rights are different.
In matters of the practice of deen, during the time of the menstrual period and in the 40
days after childbirth the woman neither fasts nor prays. During those times, she is
forbidden sexual contact. A man does not have such restrictions. Although a woman must
make up her fasts after the time of ritual impurity is over, she does not have to make up
any missed salat. Men, on the other hand, must account for every salat
for every time and day of his life. In legal testimony, two female witnesses equal one
male witness. Two male witnesses are preferred but if there are not two males, than one
male and two females so that if one of the women commits an error, the other can remind
her. (Holy Qur'an 2:282)
Allah, the Most High has likened the wives in Islam to a cultivated field, and tells the
men to go to their fields when and how they will. (2:223) He has
prohibited sexual contact during a women's courses because of impurity but after the
courses, and purification one may approach his wife. A man has no time of the month and,
if healthy, must make salat every day and fast in Ramadan every day. He also is
in a state of sexual readiness virtually every day.
Although much misunderstood and abused, polygamy is lawful in Islam. It serves a very
practical purpose in certain circumstances, times and places. Because of the temptation to
commit injustice, the responsibilities in polygamy are great. So great that it is not for
everyone. But one should not entertain the thought that it is not for anyone. Polygamy is
not abrogated in Islam and no one should make unlawful what Allah has made lawful. In
giving da'wah in America, many American women have asked why, if a man can have more than
one wife, why can't a women have more than one husband. Although it is permissible to
marry up to four wives in Islam, Allah, the Most Wise, does not permit women to marry more
than one husband at the same time.
Coming to the point, the physical makeup and the social status of men and women in the
structure of Islam, as ordained by Allah, the Most High, is very different in many areas.
It does not lend itself to equality. In this respect, the male is not like the female.
Consequently, the rights due them and the obligations on them are different. It does not
mean that one is better than the other by nature of their rights and duties. But Islam has
a social order established by Allah and His Messenger, peace be upon him, which, when
followed insures balance in the Ummat and an example to be followed by all mankind.
When men and/or women stray away from established Islamic practices, the balance is upset
and all kinds of problems develop. When this occurs in marriage, sometimes the man is at
fault and sometimes the woman. In most situations, each must take a share of the blame.
Even the best of marriages experiences difficult times. Sometimes, husbands and wives lose
the ability to resolve differences, and sometimes one transgresses against the other. In
worst cases, a spouse might be physically abused.
For every problem, in Islam, there is a solution. When problems occur in a marriage
relationship that cannot be resolved by the husband and wife, then they must be resolved
by the legal system of shariah in Islam. Whether Muslims live in a Muslim country or
non-Muslim country, it is important that the Islamic social structure is governed by
shariah, that is, practiced and enforced.
Writing from a non-Muslim country, I can say there are hundreds, maybe thousands of jama'ats
in the United States under the auspices of this mosque or that Islamic Center. Many have
imams, some have presidents, and some have ruling councils. But any time, a Muslim lady,
attached to a masjid, comes forth to her imam or Muslim leader with a complaint of spousal
abuse and that leader is not able to address her problem with the authority to do
something about it, than the Islam of that jama'at has broken down. Allah, the
Most High has said, that we are the best of people evolved for mankind because we enjoin
what is good and STOP evil! If we do not stop evil, then we are not the best of people,
but the worst.
We, as Muslims are called to right conduct but, we as insan, forget or fall into
error. Sometimes we, as insan, transgress the law. It is essential, to the health
and success of any jama'at, to maintain shariah. When an individual, couple, or
group are not able to keep themselves within the limits of Allah's law, and it comes into
the public eye, and effects the peace of the jama'at, then it is essential for
the jama'ats to enforce it. The individual members of the jama'at and
the leadership must be committed to this. If you do not find such a commitment in your
jama'at, mosque or center, then you should require it or find a jama'at that does maintain
and enforce shariah.
If you do not do so, then you cannot guarantee the safety and security of women and
children nor can you hold a transgressors to account for their transgression. Where there
is no commitment to shariah, the leadership either lacks the knowledge or desire to see
the law of Allah preside over legal cases. Maintenance of shariah refers to the
acquisition of the knowledge of Islamic Law, judging by it and ruling by it. Enforcement
of shariah refers to apprehension and punishment of any who transgress the law, disrupts
the peace, or threatens the security of the jama'at.
There is much to be said in Islamic Law concerning the rights and duties of men and women in Islam; and beyond the scope of this writing. But there are certain features concerning rights and duties which bear directly on the subject and should be touched on. I have drawn upon Al Misri's Reliance of the Traveler, translated by Noah Ha Mim Keller. It is a compendium of Shafi Fiqh with occasional references to the view of another madhhab where they differ on minor points of law.
1. Both man and wife are obliged to treat each other kindly and graciously. Allah, the Most High says: "Women deserve the like of what they are obliged to give, in kindness." HQ 2:228
And for each to give the other what they must (meaning that both
spouses are required to, the husband giving her the expenditures he is obliged to and the
wife giving herself to him and obeying him concerning his rights therein) without
intentional delays or displaying resentment. (Reliance, m10.1, pg. 538.)
2. It is unlawful for a man to house two wives in the same lodgings unless they both agree. (Ibid, m10.2, pg. 538)
3. It is not lawful for a wife to leave the house except by the permission of her husband, though she may do so without permission when there is a pressing necessity. Nor may a wife permit anyone to enter her husband's home unless he agrees, even their unmarriageable kin. Nor may she be alone with a non-family-member male, under any circumstances. (Ibid, m10.12 (2), pg. 541.)
4. It is obligatory for a wife to obey her husband as is customary in allowing him full lawful sexual enjoyment of her person. It is obligatory for the husband to enable her to remain chaste and free of want for sex if he is able. It is not obligatory for the wife to serve her husband (cooking, cleaning, washing, keeping house, etc.): if she does, it is voluntary charity. (Ibid, m10.12, pg. 541.) (The Hanafi's, however, maintain that it is obligatory for the wife to serve her husband and if she does not do so, it is a sin, although not enforceable in the courts).
5. If the wife does not fulfill one of the above-mentioned obligations, she is termed "rebellious" (nashiz), and the husband takes the following steps to correct matters:
(a) admonition and advice, by explaining the unlawfulness of rebellion, its harmful effect on married life, and by listening to her viewpoint on the matter;
(b) If admonition is ineffectual, he keeps from her by not sleeping in bed with her, by which both learn the degree to whIch they need each other;
(c) If keeping from her is ineffectual, it is permissible for him to hit her if he believes that hitting her will bring her back to the right path, though if he does not think so, it is not permissible. His hitting her may not be in a way that injures her, and is his last recourse to save the family;
(d) If the disagreement does not end after all this, each partner chooses an arbitrator to solve the dispute by settlement, or divorce. (Ibid, m10.12 (4), pps. 541,542.)
The points outlined here are not recommendations but limits according to law, beyond which a stingy husband may not spend less.
1. The husband is obliged to provide his wife's sustenance day by day. He must provide her with the staples according to what is customary in the town where they reside. He must also pay for the expense for its preparation.
2. He must provide her with those things necessary for personal hygiene.
3. He must provide for the expense related to childbirth.
4. He is not obligated but recommended to pay for doctor's fees, medicine, cosmetics, etc.
5. He is obliged to clothe his wife in what is customary in the town to be worn by Muslim ladies.
6. The husband is obliged to house his wife in lodgings of the same quality as other women of her status. (Condensed from Reliance of the Traveler, pps. 542-545)
The husband is only obliged to support his wife when she gives herself to him or offers to, meaning she allows him full enjoyment of her person and does not refuse him sex at any time of the night or day (without reason). She is not entitled to support from her husband when:
1. she is rebellious (meaning when she does not obey him) even for a moment;
2. she travels without his permission, or with his permission but for one of her own needs;
3. she assumes ihram for Hajj or 'Umra;
4. or when she performs a voluntary fast without her husband's permission. (Reliance, m11.9, pg. 545)
So much more can be written on this subject but it is too vast to deal with each and every legal point in this article. In closing, Allah, the Most High has established his preferences with respect to the male and the female, and the husband and the wife. The Qur'an and Sunnah have expounded on the rights and duties of the husband and the wife and the fuqaha (learned doctors of law) have worked out the fine details on the various subjects and issues. Close adherence to the Shariah of Islam will insure the best possible chance to secure a balanced marriage relationship, while enforcement of the Shariah when there is transgression will, insha Allah, insure justice.
Abu Talut
28 April 1998.
-----------------------------
[Currently, he is the technical advisor for the Islamic Post and member of Muslims of the
Americas Inc. He was trained in combat photography and photo journalism and had
experiences in the Vietnam and Afghanistan war.]
