Q & A

Dear Christina,

My son is in his final year of Computer Science at U.C.D. and I am worried about him. I feel that I should transfer him to a practical course where he will learn useful skills. At the moment, he's learning formal methods and other high level concepts which serve no purpose other than developing other than developing his intellect and expanding his mind.

What should I do?

Worried Mother

I am aware of the plight of your son, and indeed you aren't the first to write. In fact, I've had 35 similar letters this year. You should consider relocation of his cognitive skills to limbo, and consider engaging him in a course which involves no thought whatsoever. There are plenty of excellent courses on offer which will be sure to get him a great job as a maintenance programmer. Country RTU have on such programme, as do Dublin City College (c.f. Advertising Feature at base). After all, the best buildings need no foundations.

Dear Christina,

My son is a student of a large Dublin university. He is in his second year of studies and we have noticed something very worrying about him. He has taken to not wearing any underpants. When I told me husband,

This is really outside my area of expertise, but then again. I agree you have a real problem. Such behaviour displays a willingness of your son's part (or indeed any teenager 'sans knickers' as it were) to engage in wanton sexual encounters like one of those pop stars. I feel you should have your son commited and if I had my way I'd have all youngsters psychologically cleansed. I have contacted the college involved and they have agreed to random checks of their students as they arrive for morning lectures. That'll sort out those worthier-than-thou university pups.