Dear Juliet and Romeo,

Your questions are great - they help to bring to the surface questions that many other visitors are shy to ask. And you have shown great consideration towards your hosts by finding out the position in advance.

Q. What is expected from guests by the B&B proprietors?
A. Most professional proprietors enjoy running their B&B and really get a buzz from meeting their guests. We expect nothing of you, except that you enjoy your stay and feel at home with us. Our homes are laid out to give our families the privacy they need, while allowing you to feel that you have enjoyed our homes for a few days.

Q. Do we eat our breakfast with the family?
A. You will be served breakfast in the guest dining room which is separate from the family section of the home. In some homes you will probably chose your breakfast from an extensive menu the previous evening, and nominate the time at which you want it served; here the bean-a-tí (housewife) will have the meal cooking as you come down the stairs in the morning and it will be served straight from the cooker to your table. In others you will be served breakfast at any time, but there may not be a choice from a menu.

Q. Do we clear away after the meal, or help wash up or give other help?
A. You are not expected to lift a finger while in our home, nor in any B&B in Ireland. You might like to keep your own room as tidy as you would like it to be, and it is only courteous to leave the room so that the bean-a-tí can work around to make the beds, and vacuum clean the room.

Q. Do we spend the evenings with the family?
A. Most homes have their own TV room for the family. You will probably find a separate living room with TV and magazines which is available to all the guests. In the evenings some guests like to read from an array of books and magazines, some like to tinkle at the piano, others like to sit and chat with the proprietor or with one another, and other just enjoy a visit to a music pub. It really depends on the mix of people staying in the home on the day.

Some homes have TV in all bedrooms, and may not provide a separate guest sitting-room. Just ask when you are making the booking, or upon arrival.

Q. Do we have to make up our beds?
A. You don't have to make up your beds - just tidy away your own personal things that you don't want disturbed. It probably makes a better impression if you smooth down the bed yourself, if you are staying several nights, but it certainly is not expected. And a similar good impression is made by leaving the bathroom free of a mess - just mop up any splashes and wipe up soap streaks and shampoo spillages etc.

Q. Do we have to replace anything we damage or break?
A. No, accidents happen, and it would be a shame to spoil your holiday on account of an accident. But if you have an accidental breakage or spillage, please let us know right away, as we have the resources to fix or replace as appropriate, and it is better that we should attend to it right away.

Q. Do we have to go to bed by a certain time?
A. No. On arrival you will given a room key and a (high security) main door key, perhaps with a tag bearing the address and phone number. Once checked-in, guests can come and go as they please. But you wouldn't like to be disturbed by other guests being noisy when they come in at the wee hours; and in return you yourself would also be as quiet as mice coming in at that time! And remember that private homes are not built with the same type of sound-absorbing walls or concrete floors as are used in hotels, so it is much easier to disturb the sleep of other guests.

Q. What about tipping?
A. Tipping is NOT the norm, and is not expected. Sometimes guests after several days might bring a bunch of flowers, or a box of chocolates, or a memento from their home town; and B&B proprietors really appreciate these tokens of thanks. Guests occasionally insist on paying for an unusual service, as a means of getting around the usual aversion to tipping which is found amongst the proprietors of B&Bs. In larger B&Bs and guest houses, staff are employed to attend to some tasks, and a special favour from one of the staff may be rewarded by tipping.

Q. Do we bring our own soap and towels?
A. There is a minimum standard of facilities in B&Bs, and it includes at least one towel per guest. (All rooms must have washing facilities.) You will find that in some B&Bs all rooms are provided with a hand-towel, a face-cloth and a bath-towel for each guest, a hairdryer, an electric kettle with tea and instant coffee with cream and sugar, and a radio-alarm clock. Guest soap is probably provided, and some B&Bs can supply razors, shampoo and toothpaste all individually wrapped, for guests who have forgotten them.

Q. Can we stay in bed all day or relax around the house?
A. In cases where the bean-a-tí runs the home entirely on her own, it is generally not possible for guests to remain in the home while the bean-a-tí is out shopping or attending to other external tasks; you will find that this applies to at least half of the B&Bs in Ireland. The usual time by which you will be expected to have set out on your days sight-seeing is 10:30 am.

A fraction of B&Bs allow guests who wish to stay around their home during the day, but you have to remember that the bean-a-tí runs this activity entirely on her own, and it is a full-time task, preparing breakfasts, clearing annd washing up after them, re-making rooms, laundry, and by then receiving the incoming guests. Meanwhile she is attending to the needs of her children at school and a husband at work, so she needs a break somewhere in the middle of the day!

So if you do stay around the house, please make sure that you leave the bean-a-tí in peace to get on with her work.

Q. At what time can we come to the B&B to book in?
A. Generally you should arrive between 5:00 pm and 6:00 pm. If you think that you will be later than 6:00 pm, it is best to phone in advance and agree with the bean-a-tí a suitable time for your arrival.

In most B&Bs the bean-a-tí is busy with housework throughout the day, and it may be inconvenient for her to stop her work in order to admit guests earlier than 5:00 pm. Indeed all the rooms may not be ready for incoming guests until that time.

Some experienced B&B holiday-makers like to complete their travel early in the day, and leave their bags into their new B&B as early as noon. This allows them to go sightseeing for the remainder of the day, in the knowledge that their room is secured. That is fine, so long as you do not distract the bean-a-tí from her work, by asking for suggestions on places to visit or for other assistance. Just check the room and bed (do not expect to find all rooms ready for occupation), drop off you bags and set off on your sightseeing for the rest of the day.

If you are arriving into Ireland on an early morning flight or sailing, some homes can make special arrangements to accommodate you. Please see the section on early morning arrivals in our page on the B&B system in Ireland for more details.

Q. What is the time there right now?
A. Our clock in Ireland and Britain is set at Greenwich Mean Time (GMT) in Winter, and British Standard Time (BST) in Summer. This is one hour later of the rest of Europe. It is five hours ahead of the East Coast of the US and eight hours ahead of the West Coast. It is twelve hours later than Australia and New Zealand.

So if you want to phone home on your arrival in Shannon at 7:00 am in the morning, it is still yesterday in California, and it is an unearthly hour in New York - better to leave that phone call until later.

And of course, don't phone home to Australia in the afternoons!

By the same token, please phone us here early in the day. We will have settled down for the night by the time it is 6:00 pm in New York, or just 3:00 pm in San Francisco.

Q. Anything else?
A. We will be pleased to add to this page as we go along, and it is you, the visitor who will give us the questions, so please feel free to drop us a line- avondoyl@iol.ie - and remember that there is no stupid question except the one that was not asked!

Andrea Reynolds wrote to let us know of her booklet 50 Guest Etiquette Tips which is based on her many years as a B&B proprietor in Canada. She offers the 16 page booklet in the US at $5 each, and if you want to see one proprietor's perspective you might find this booklet useful. For more information send email to brnstorm@gte.net