February 12th 1944; That Tufty and Titch !! What an graceless pair! I don't know why I ever took them on, really I don't !They're all "innovative ideas" and "playing to the audience". We could all do that to win applause if we wanted to! That's not talent. They said their motto is "Stand Up and Stand Out!" I said mine was "Knuckle Down and Knuckle Under, or get a Knuckle Sandwich!" They didn't like that! They started muttering about the artistic control they were promised. Surely they knew I meant My Artistic Control? They can't be that stupid? On a more tragic note, I see that Tosser Strangeways and Dickie "Touch" Tingles have formed a new act with that dismal old mummer, Hedge Motherwell! Their act is supposed to be like "fireworks in human form", if the fickle plebeian throng are to be believed! What do they know about what makes a good show? Nothing! The times I've watched my best material fall flat, simply because of the lack of a sufficiently cognisant response from an unsophisticated audience! Anyway, it's no good to dwell on last night! I can just imagine the antics of Strangeways' new crew. How embarrassing they must seem to even the most primitive onlookers! How I pity that trio of tiresome tyros! Their aseptic, inept little efforts at entertainment can only distract the multitude from their deserved appreciation of a true genius such as myself. A point with which I'm sure Strangeways and Co. would undoubtedly agree, if only they weren't so stupid! Well, I'm sure I have nothing to fear from them really. There's nothing they can steal from me!

The complete Tosser .....

April 2nd 1944; The Cads! Strangeways and Co. have stolen Jumbo Carstairs away from me! How could they? How could he? It all happened last night on stage! That scoundrel Carstairs interrupted my act, just as the audience were warming to me, and casually announced to them that he was quitting the All-Stars to join Tosser Strangeways New All-Stars! At this Strangeways, Motherwell and Tingles thundered on stage and carried him off, shoulder high. I'm beginning to think it was all pre-arranged. They all galloped off, taking the audience with them, leaving me standing there, their jeers and cat-calls still ringing in the air after them. I waited for my kettles to boil, finished my act, and walked off stage in as dignified a manner as I could manage. I'm a pro, I am.

May 16th 1944; This country doesn't know what War is. But they will from now on. I have formally declared war on Tosser Strangeways. The gloves are off! If he wants to roll his sleeves up, I'll give him what for !Ever since Jumbo Carstairs made a show of himself by abandoning me on stage, "Tosser's" little troupe, his New All Stars (the Nerve!) have been re-enacting the little tableau on stage each night in their act !Apparently, I'm played by Dickie "Touch" Tingles to great comic effect! The cheek! Tingles says he's having great fun, and loves dressing up as me, whatever that's supposed to mean! Anyway, to retaliate, I've signed Smudge Keppler to an exclusive contract as the newest member of the All-Stars !Yes, Smudge Keppler, that intolerable avant-garde farceur !I don't think he's a bit funny, but it's the last thing Strangeways' and his mob will expect. You see, if I can take that woefully deadpan oaf on board, and still be funny, it will be such a slap in the face for them! It will finally prove who the better entertainer is. What a stroke of genius. If I can be funny with Tufty and Titch, a third liability isn't going to make much difference! I'm also publishing a book about the time Strangeways and I worked together. It's called "Tosser by Name and Tosser by Nature!" That should set the record straight! On a less important note, I see that Dex and Dix have finally located my father, Drax. In Milan, of all places!

Editor's Note: Drax Dandridge gave his sons the slip in Milan and led them a merry chase all over the world, before finally being re-apprehended by them , again in Milan, in December 1944.They turned him over to the military police, who interrogated him regarding his whereabouts since January 1941. He refused to co-operate. In January of 1945 Drax Dandridge was handed over to the show business branch of Naval Intelligence. There was nothing his war hero sons could do to help him. However, in January 1945 Chuffer Dandridge had more pressing things on his mind. He and the All-Stars are at each other's throats once more: