March 23rd 1963; In this world, there's only one love for me. But sometimes she looks right through me, as if I don't exist. I wish she'd wear her glasses more often.

April 15th 1963; Decided to take the world by storm! This time, loathe though I am to concede the point, I mean to forego the froth and frippery of mere populist entertainment, and take a leaf from Smudge Keppler's book. My next show will have a high artistic quotient and so appeal to the sophisticated "high-brow about town! To this end, I have worked meticulously on my new show since last Sunday lunchtime. I've hit upon an inspiration that should give the whole production the "frisson" it needs to get noticed by the critics! I intend to commission the manufacture of a huge pair of Comedy Cufflinks! My cheeks are wet with mirth just thinking about it! I also mean to dust off my never performed impressionist act, "Chuffer Takes His Coat Off Like The Stars!" I shall call the show "Chuffer's Coats and Cufflinks!" This is the Big One! I can feel it. Nothing can go wrong this time!

May 12th 1963; How could they do this to me? I've just come from the theatre, where I've seen the name of the show up in lights. I told them time and time again, it's "Chuffer's Coats and Cufflinks!", "Chuffer's Coats and Cufflinks"! But did they listen? Did they get it right? NO! According to them, I'm appearing in a merry little romp called "Chuffer's Chats and Chipmunks!" What in God's name is a "Chipmunk" anyway? It's too late to get it changed now, we'll just have to go ahead with it. They've got another think coming if they think I'm taking my Big Cufflinks out of the show! I spent 42 guineas and fourpence on them. One look at them and the audience won't want to know about "Chipmunks"! We open in a month's time.

Somehow today feels like a very special day indeed !!

May 15th 1963; I hope no one expects "Chipmunks"!

June 10th 1963; It's late, I'm tired, but I'm in a heightened state of elation. My one-man stand up show "Chuffer's Chats and Chipmunks", was an unprecedented success. The gala premier performance tonight was attended by the great and the good. Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor were there and came backstage with flowers and many congratulations. To quote Dickie "Touch" Tingles, "She's still a screaming drama queen, just like I remember her in the old days, and of course, Miss Taylor is no better". As usual I have no idea what he's talking about. Vera Lynn described my performance as the "ultimate, ironic deconstruction of the vacuity that is old-fashioned variety". To be honest, I think she missed the point, has read too many books and is getting ideas quite above her station. Had to put up with the appalling spectacle of hundreds of young girls trying to get into the after-show party. All for me, it seems, but age has made me grow weary of such frivolities. A new beat combo by the name of the Beetles attended the party. John, Paul, George and Gringo. Most talented and intelligent was definitely Gringo, who oddly enough didn't look Mexican. Still, I imagine these people have their ways of hiding these things in polite social circles. Everyone seemed to have heard of them and were very impressed, but I see no future for these sorry lads. I said to them "Try serving your time in the music halls of England, my dears, and hone your blunt talents". They seemed particularly taken with my routine as a military man dressed as a condiment, "Major Salt". The dreadful Goons were present, Sellars doing his "funny voices", Milligan skulking depressingly in a corner and Seacombe just being fat and pious. I'll never understand their popularity. It seems at last that the world is my oyster, which I believe is an aphrodisiac, but of course my favourite aphrodisiac has always been sex.

Editor's Note: The following is a review of "Chuffer's Chats & Chipmunks!" taken from the June '63 issue of Wag!, the highly popular and influential satirical magazine, published between April and July 1963. It's four issues shaped a generation!" Once in a lifetime is one treated to a theatrical experience of such incandescent wonderment, it transcends the strictures of structure imposed by the implicit artificiality of performance art. Such a show is "Chuffer's Chats and Chipmunks!", the latest comedy revue by that heretofore unreknowned Master of Mirth, the eponymous "Chuffer" Dandridge. The whole production is a debunking and unravelling of the loose end in the Tapestry of Theatre that is Cabaret! The show is such an example of meticulously crafted perfection it is difficult to know what to like most of all. Dandridge loons about and cuts capers in an excruciatingly painstaking parody of the "Cabaret Entertainer" television has made familiar to one and all. Yet for all his appeal as a "figure of fun" it is the underlying message of the show that really hits the target. Dandridge, as he shambles about, mumbling incoherently, changing from one large overcoat to the next ad. infinitum, without rhyme, reason, or regard for the audience, surely echoes both the frenetic pace of modern times, and the elusive influence of modern fashion on the contemporary age! The fact that there are no "Chipmunks" in "Chuffer's Chats and Chipmunks!" is in itself a delicious knowing irony. Again it starkly mirrors the cynical here-and-now where things are never quite as they seem. Things, although promised, are seldom delivered. They exist only in the title of dramaturgic entertainments, which offer scant solace to an uncaring society, which would rather forget its "Chipmunks!" The only thing I felt destroyed the ambience of the show were Dandridge's large ungainly, unwieldy cufflinks, which jarred violently with the fastidious realism of the piece, and seemed disastrously out-of-place! If this is the calibre of entertainment we have to look forward to from the severely underrated "Chuffer" Dandridge, Roll On his Next Show, Say I!" However this review from the redoubtable self-styled critic, Oriel Talmadge, is not quite so complementary: "Bolloxology! That's the only word to even come close to describing "Chuffer" Dandridge's latest in a long line of insipid oratorical mewlings, which, for reasons best known to himself, he sees fit to continue to foist on an undeserving public. Utter, unmitigated, unrelenting bolloxology! Dandridge himself is no more than an abject bolloxologist, and I renounce him as such! He has no place on the modern stage, and should be prohibited from even attending any form of live entertainment, and people should have to go around scrubbing all traces of him away, in a perfect world! If I were cursed with a freakish, unfeasibly long arm, and a big, big hand, I'd sit in the back row of the theatre, and slap Dandridge from one end of the stage to the other! That'd give him pause for thought!"

July 4th 1963; Have been playing to full house for weeks now. The audience love everything about the performance, but the real show-stopper is when I take out my comedy gun and fire randomly into the audience. First the shrieks and howls of fear, followed by unbounded mirth when the audience realise I'm using blanks. "Chuffer shoots from the hip" was the headline of one excellent review. It goes on to say, "Chuffer takes confrontational theatre to new heights in the "Shooting Gallery" section of the show. The gun represents man's inability to cope in the face of increasing hostility in today's society, and Chuffer's maniacal grin when he produces the weapon is worth the ticket price alone". Fancy !!!The best news of all came after tonight's performance, when I was approached by an American promoter to bring my show on a whistle-stop tour of the United States. I'm so excited. I believe that everything is done to a bigger scale over there, so I shall be replacing my comedy gun with a comedy rifle.

August 1st 1963; All the plans are in place. Now all that remains is for me to go and conquer America. I believe that my itinerary will coincide with President Kennedy's visit to Dallas. If only there were some way I could get his attention. What a boost that would be for my American career !!

August 2nd 1963; Think I've thought of a way of catching Kennedy's eye.