The Chuffer Dandridge Diaries - Chuffer's Quotes
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The Wit and Wisdom of Chuffer Dandridge - Chuffer's Quotes
"My love is like a red red rag to a bull"
"Have
been visiting the gym for five weeks
now and I'm nearly able to make it
up the stairs"
"Love
means never having to say you're sorry, because it wasn't my fault !!"
"Michael Caine is a talentless oik. There I've said it and I feel much better. Alfie my arse. "
"My love is a many splendoured thing, and she looks great in fish-nets. Now if only she could hold down steady job"
"Curiouser and curiouser, as Ali Baba said, in The Lion, The Witch and The Cowardly Lion!"
"I've been married ten days and I haven't seen the wife since the ceremony"
"I think I'm caught in a terrible love triangle with George Harrison and Eric Clapton !! "
"Love is very different
in a Tunisian prison! "
"Without love there is nothing. Well, maybe that's a bit strong. I'll rephrase that. Without love there is... no love. That's more like it"
"If I have to tell Julie Christie to keep her hands to herself one more time..."
"This is the dawning of the "Age of Aquariums". Apparently. If every home is to have a fish tank, I want to be the entertainer that people most associate with sea-life! "
"When she's here, she makes my life so much brighter, as she always brings a shilling for the meter"
"I'd love to do something
with Rolf Harris"
"I've written a play !! It's called "The Man with Half a Brain",
and it will star Bernard Cribbens. Well, I'm joking actually. No such play exists.
But it should. It should !"
"Phew! It don't 'arf take it out o' yer, bein' smashed in the cake-hole by masked strangers!"
"So
close now I can almost taste dinner with the Queen"
"Get
out of my way, Jimmy Saville. I'm going to re-invent music!"
"Ripe old Coot!"
"Do
you notice me at all, standing in the revolving doorway of your office building?
Do you?"
"I
had the nightmare about the vet again
last night. The one where he's whirling
the horse above his head and Michael
Bentine is watching me from the hill.
Damn those experiments in Porton Down!"
"Love
is lovlier the second time around, I keep trying to convince her."
"I'll never work with
anything as dangerous and unpredictable as my brother again."
"Why are the ants coming to get me? I
did them no wrong!"
Click below for a brief introduction to Chuffer and his "friends" and family.
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