DEAD KENNEDYS - GIVE ME CONVENIENCE OR GIVE ME DEATH - THE PUNK LYRICS ARCHIVE

POLICE TRUCK
tonight's the night that we got the truck we're goin' downtown gonna beat up drunks your turn to
drive i'll bring the beer it's the late, late shift no one to fear and ride, ride how we ride we ride,
lowride it's roundup time where the good whores meet gonna drag one screaming off the street and
ride, ride how we ride got a black uniform and a silver badge playin' cops for real/playin' cops for
pay let's ride, lowride pull down your dress here's a kick in the ass let's beat you blue 'til you shit in
your pants don't move, child got a big black stick there's six of us babe, so suck on my dick and
ride, ride how we ride let's ride, lowride the left newspapers might whine a bit but the guys at the
station they don't give a shit dispatch calls "are you doin' something wicked?" "no siree, jack, we're
just givin' tickets" as we ride, ride, how we ride let's ride, lowride

TOO DRUNK TO FUCK
went to a party i danced all night i drank 16 beers and i started up a fight but now i am jaded you're
out of luck i'm rolling down the stairs too drunk to fuck too drunk to fuck too drunk to fuck too
drunk, to fuck i'm too drunk, too drunk, too drunk to fuck i like your stories i love your gun
shooting out truck tires sounds like loads and loads of fun but in my room wish you were dead you
ball like the baby in eraserhead too drunk to fuck too drunk to fuck too drunk, to fuck it's all i need
right now too drunk to fuck too drunk to fuck too drunk to fuck too drunk, to fuck i'm sick soft
gooey and cold too drunk to fuck i'm about to drop my head's a mess the only salvation is i'll never
see you again you give me head it makes it worse take out your fuckin' retainer put it in your purse
i'm too drunk to fuck you're to drunk to fuck too drunk to fuck it's all i need right now oh baby i'm
melting like an ice cream bar oh baby and now i got diarrhea too drunk to fuck yeah, yeah yeah,
yeah yeah, yeah oooohhh...

CALIFORNIA ÜBER ALLES
i am governor jerry brown my aura smiles and never frowns soon i will be president carter power
will soon go away i will be fuhrer one day i will command all of you your kids will meditate in
school california über alles über alles california zen fascists will control you 100% natural you will
jog for the master race and always wear the happy face close your eyes, can't happen here big bro'
on white horse is near the hippies won't come back you say mellow out or you will pay california
über alles über alles california now it is 1984 knock knock at your front door it's the suede/denim
secret police they have come for your uncool neice come quitely to the camp you'd look nice as a
drawstring lamp don't you worry, it's only a shower for your clothes here's a pretty flower die on
organic poison gas serpent's egg's already hatched you will crack, you little clown when you mess
with president brown california über alles über alles california

THE MAN WITH THE DOGS
i am no one but i'm well known for i am the man with the dogs i stare at you shopping watch while
you're walking two dogs run around your toes you turn around two eyes break you down "now, who
does that guy think he's starin' at?" stop in your tracks you're being laughed at you armored ego is
nude and i do and i do crack up 'cos i'm getting to you i see you i see you and you're pretty
self-conscious too down to your church i'm looking for victims spell of the man with the dogs i'll
haunt you and follow you to work that ghost is back again creep into you i won't go away you're
taking yourself too seriously i smile as you frown and turn to walk away your habits for all to see i
see a shrew i see you and the rodent things you do you see you i see you and you're pretty
self-conscious too and i'm gonna crack your mask yeah and i'm gonna laugh open wide.... saw you
again you'll see me tomorrow curse of the man with the dogs you may not like me you won't forget
me not safe even in walgreen's they've seen me ask your friends 'oh i know him' seen but i'm never
heard by your lot a stare is worth a thousand biting phrases see how stupid you are? i dare you i
dare you to erase my laser tattoo you see you you see you and you're pretty self-conscious too and
i'm gonna crack your mask yeah, and i'm gonna laugh what's inside? is it pubic hair is it cobweb air
i bet you just don't care...

IN-SIGHT
who's that kid in the back of the room who's that kid in the back of the room he's setting all his
papers on fire he's setting all his papers on fire where did he get that crazy smile where did he get
that crazy smile we all think he's really weird we all think he's really weird chorus we never talk to
him he never looks quite right he laughs at us we just beat him up what he sees escapes our sight
we never see him with the girls we never see him with the girls he's talking to himself again he's
talking to himself again why doesn't he want tons of friends why doesn't he want tons of friends
says he's bored when we hang around says he's bored when we hang around chorus we're all
planning our careers we're all planning our careers we're all planning our careers he says we're
growing old...

LIFE SENTENCE
you used to be a partner in crime now you say you ain't got the time gotta get serious, gotta plan
gotta pass those entrance exams oh my god it's senior year all you care about is your career chorus
it's a life sentence it's a life sentence it's a life sentence it's a life sentence you're squelching your
emotions all you talk about is old times you don't do what you want to but you do the same thing
everyday no sense of humor but such good manners now you're an adult you're boring chorus the
walls are closing in you stayed too long in school i'd rather stay a child and keep my self-respect if
being an adult means being like you are you really you you you you you you you you you are you
really you? no you're a chained-up dog fenced in a yard don't see much, you can't go far pace and
froth, you're getting sick run too fast and it'll snap your neck you say you'll break out but you never
do you're just another ant in the hill that's your life sentence

A CHILD AND HIS LAWNMOWER
some clown in sacramento was dragged into court he shot his lawnmower it disobeyed, it wouldn't
start might makes right, it's the american way(r) they fined him $60 and sent him on his way you
know, some people don't take no shit maybe if they did they'd have half a brain left

HOLIDAY IN CAMBODIA
so you been to school for a year or two and you know you've seen it all in daddy's car thinkin' you'll
go far back east your type don't crawl play ethnicky jazz to parade your snazz on your five grand
stereo braggin that you know how the niggers feel cold and the slums got so much soul it's time to
taste what you most fear right guard will not help you here brace yourself, my dear it's a holiday in
cambodia it's tough kid, but it's life it's a holiday in cambodia don't forget to pack a wife your a
star-belly sneech you suck like a leech you want everyone to act like you kiss ass while you bitch so
you can get rich but your boss gets richer on you well you'll work harder with a gun in your back for
a bowl of rice a day slave for soldiers til you starve then your head skewered on a stake now you
can go where people are one now you can go where they get things done what you need my son...
is a holiday in cambodia where people dress in black a holiday in cambodia where you'll kiss ass or
crack pol pot, pol pot, pol pot, pol pot etc. and it's a holiday in cambodia where you'll do what
you're told a holiday in cambodia where the slums got so much soul

I FOUGHT THE LAW (AND I WON)
drinkin' beer in the hot sun i fought the law and i won i needed sex and i got mine i fought the law
and i won the law don't mean shit if you've got the right friends that's how the country's run
twinkies are the best friend i've ever had i fought the law and i won i blew george & harvey's brains
out with my six-gun i fought the law and i won gonna write my book and make a million i fought the
law and i won i'm the new folk hero of the ku klux klan my cop friends think that's fine you can get
away with murder if you've got a badge i fought the law and i won i am the law so i won

NIGHT OF THE LIVING REDNECKS
ray's guitar broke. no, we won't play rawhide, won't play anything. we'll play the theme from the
dinah shore show. who wants to be dinah shore? who's alter-ego is dinah shore? oh, his fists didn't
go up so quickly this time. yawn...yawn..yawn. put those headphones on, it's be-bop time. i want to
tell you a story about the last time i was in portland. the night before we played at the long
goodbye. i was walking on the street about 10:30 at night. a lot of people go to bed around here at
10:30 at night. and well, i was walking along when suddenly these jocks in this bright blue pickup
drove up. it had kc lights, tractor tires, everything but the cb. it was a life-size hot wheels car for
some dumb rich kid, right. well, they drove up to me and they yelled what dumb rich kids usually
yell, "hey, faggot," and showered me with some water. so, i stood there thinking, what a bunch of
fuckheads and picked up a rock. now, i waited, walked down about a block to where the kentucky
fried chicken is, on burnside, and sure enough they drove around again. they said, "hey, faggot,
where's the nearest mcdonald's?" i said, "i don't know" and they squirted me again. so i threw the
rock and put a nice-size dent in their giant hot wheels car. they screached to a halt in the parking
lot of some department store, who's name i don't remember, it's up the street from fred meyer, and
they got out their clubs and they ran after me, yelling, "we're gonna kill you, you god damn faggot,
we're gonna kill you, you motherfucker." so i got in a phonebooth by the kentucky fried chicken on
burnside, held my legs straight out like this so they couldn't open the door to the phonebooth. so
they began charging the phonebooth, beating on it with their club, yelling, "we're gonna kill you,
you motherfucker, we're gonna kill you, you god damn faggot." i just looked at them. so, there was
a crowd gathering by this time and these kids were standing nearby and they said, "oh, look at him,
he's insane." i thought, ah-hah, here's my way out. i yelled at them, "take me to a mental hospital
right away. i wanna be be put away. please put me away, c'mon, call the cops and put me away.
please put me away now." they said, "alright, faggot, we're calling the police." so they called the
police. the cop comes out and i go, ah, my savior, i'm away from these jocks. he opens up the
door, "get out of there, you," throws me up against the car, frisks me, shoves me in the back. then
he goes over to the jocks, "now what happened here? it looks like we're going have to take him to
jail but we got to have the full story first" so the jocks, who had an ace in the hole, ace in the hole
[take down on the bass, a little bit down on the bass. yeah], ace in the hole, and they go, "well,
goddammit, the motherfucker put a dent in my truck, a $5000 truck, right, so i got my club, i went
out and i wanted to kill him. i want to kill him. let me kill him, goddammit. let me kill him." so the
cop made them go home, and he drove me home, and he confiscated their club and my rock as
further evidence. and i thought, so this is oregon, huh? tolerent oregon? ray, are you done with
your guitar yet? he isn't done yet. so what else do you want to hear, i'm out of stories. that's a true
story, too. just ask bruce loose.

SATURDAY NIGHT HOLOCAUST
there's a prefab building and a funny smell around the hill outside of town every now and then we
wonder but we shrug our shoulders and get back to work... there's a railroad there and trains go by
and there's people locked in cattle cars and have you noticed the french fries at the a&w taste a
little strange? i drive down to the disco pompadour and pink lammé i bow and blow the doorman he
parts the chain, says join the game a quick line in the girls room to the bar for the electrodes a coin
into the right slits tape my temple watch me go now i want your perfect barbie-doll lips and i want
your perfect barbie-doll eyes slip my fingers down your barbie-doll dress up and down your spandex
ass if i lit a match for you you'd melt before my eyes c'mere my pretty glow-worm you look so fine
to dance with me the fly-eye lights are throbbin' i'm burning up the floor whirling twirling close my
eyes no faces judging me but i want your perfect barbie-doll lips and i want your perfect barbie-doll
eyes slip my fingers down your barbie-doll dress up and down your spandex ass a hitler youth in
jogging suit smiling face banded 'round his arm says, 'line up, you've got work to do we need dog
food for the poor' a scream bleats out, we're herded into lines customized vans wait outside i'm
getting scared of my new home to auschwitz condominiums we go oh no now i want your perfect
barbie-doll lips and i want your perfect barbie-doll eyes let my fingers down your dress one more
time...

PULL MY STRINGS
i'm tired of self respect i can't afford a car i wanna be a prefab superstar i wanna be a tool don't
need no soul wanna make big money playing rock and roll i'll make my music boring i'll play my
music slow i ain't no artist, i'm a business man no ideas of my own i won't offend or rock the boat
just sex and drugs and rock and roll drool, drool, drool, drool, drool, drool my payola! drool, drool,
drool, drool, drool, drool my payola! you'll pay ten bucks to see me on a fifteen foot high stage
fatass bouncers kick the shit out of kids who try to dance if my friends say i've lost my guts i'll laugh
and say that's rock and roll but there's just one problem... chorus is my cock big enough is my brain
small enough for you to make me a star give me a toot, i'll sell you my soul pull my strings and i'll go
far and when i'm rich and meet bob hope we'll shoot some golf and shoot some dope is my cock big
enough? is my brain small enough? repeat chorus, etc. etc.

SHORT SONGS
i like short songs (x13)

STRAIGHT A'S
sixteen, on the honor roll i wish that i was dead parents hate me, i got zits and bruises 'round my
head pressure's on to get good grades so i can be like them do my homework all the time i can't go
out just then people they ain't friends at all they tease and suck me dry yell at me when i fuck up and
party while i cry i look so big on paper i feel so fucking small wanna die and you don't care just
stride on down the hall suicide suicide read the paper, wonder why turn the light out, then you cry
it's your fault, you made me die touch me won't you touch me now so frozen i can't love when i
was born my mama cried and picked me up with gloves girls, they kick me in the eye want answers
to the tests when they get them they drive off and leave me home to rest hold my head make me
warm tell me i am loved give me hope let me cry make me feel give me touch the window's broken
bleeding screaming lying in the hall i'm gone no one remembers me a picture on the wall "he was
such a bright boy the future in his hands..." -or a spineless human pinball shot around by your
demands suicide suicide goin' to sleep and when i die you'll look up and realize then look down and
wipe your eyes then go back to your stupid lives aw shit

KINKY SEX MAKES THE WORLD GO 'ROUND
greetings...this is the secretary of war at the state department of the united states...we have a
problem. the companies want something done about this sluggish world economic situation...profits
have been running a little thin lately and we need to stimulate some growth...now we know there's
an alarmingly high number of young people roaming around in your country with nothing to do but
stir up trouble for the police and damage private property. it doesn't look like they'll ever get a
job...it's about time we did something constructive with these people...we've got thousands of 'em
here too. they're crawling all over...the companies think it's time we all sit down, have a serious
get-together-and start another war...the president? he loves the idea! all those missiles streaming
overhead to and fro...napalm...people running down the road, skin on fire...the soviets seem up for
it...the kremlin's been itching for the real thing for years. hell, afghanistan's no fun...so whadya
say?...we don't even have to win this war. we just want to cut down on some of this excess
population...now look. just start up a draft; draft as many of those people as you can. we'll call up
every last youngster we can get our hands on, hand 'em some speed, give 'em an hour or two to
learn how to use an automatic rifle and send 'em on their way...libya? el salvador? how 'bout
northern ireland? or a "moderately repressive regime" in south america?...we'll just cook up a good
soviet threat story in the middle east-we need that oil...we had libya all ready to go and colonel
khadafy's hit squad didn't even show up. i tell ya...that man is unreliable. the kremlin had their
fingers on the button just like we did for that one...now just think for a minute-we can make this
war so big-so big...the more people we kill in this war, the more the economy will prosper...we
can get rid of practically everybody on your dole queue if we plan this right. take every loafer on
welfare right off our computer rolls...now don't worry about demonstrations-just pump up your
drug supply. so many people have hooked themselves on heroin and amphetamines since we took
over, it's just like vietnam. we had everybody so busy with lsd they never got too strong. kept the
war functioning just fine...it's easy. we've got our college kids so interested in beer they don't even
care if we start manufacturing germ bombs again. put a nuclear stockpile in their back yard, they
wouldn't even know what it looked like...so how 'bout it? look-war is money. the arms
manufacturers tell me unless we get our bomb factories up to full production the whole economy is
going to collapse...the soviets are in the same boat. we all agree the time has come for the big one,
so whadya say?!?...that's excellent. we knew you'd agree...the companies will be very pleased.

THE PREY
you're from out of town i can tell that by your shoes flew in for the convention getting tipsy in a bar
you're leaving pretty late gotta get up in the morning thinking she's just too expensive and you know
you're... probably... right there's no one on the streets and you can't find your hotel you walk a little
faster -someone's following you the wallet-size bulge in your double-knit butt has money for me and
maybe credit cards you dart around the next corner you can't look around quick now, fish for the
keys for the door you don't even know where you are you walk a little faster i walk a little faster
sensing that i sense you now there's no escape i can almost taste your dandruff as i reach for your
face -and i strike

BUZZBOMB FROM PASADENA
buzzbomb buzzbomb macho-mobile the road's my slave, that's how i feel i cruise alone, i cruise real
far shoo young punk! i love my car cross nevada at a 110 highway 50 and there's nobody there sign
says, 'next sign 30 miles!'... my pension comes- each penny saved buys more escape from home i'd
rather carouse around all day than move into a home plow through rest area san-o-lets splat goes
the lonely salesman still wanking in the men's room... buzzbomb buzzbomb tape up loud lawrence
welk cranked up to 10 faster faster in my car buzzbomb is my pride and joy king of the trailer court
waiting for a nice young man who'll love me for my car who tells me why i'm cool tells me just what
i like when i pretend he's here shred through palm springs across the golf course cops 'round here
scratching their heads flashing sirens, state patrol...uh oh they're scuffing up the side of my car
they're shooting out my tires this ain't no way to go to heaven buzzbomb cornered at the 7-11