The World Space Joke Bank


at Manister School in Ireland.


Why was the thirsty alien hanging around the computer?

He was looking for the space bar!


Paddy the Earthling: We put a man on the moon in 1969.

Paddy the Martian: Big deal! We're going to send a team to the Sun.

Paddy the Earthling: You're mad! They'll be burned up before they even get close.

Paddy the Martian: We're not that stupid! We're sending them up at night!


What makes you think Marie Griffin is an alien?

She has three 'i's.


Pupil: Please Sir! Did you hear that scientists have found life on another planet?

Teacher: What are you talking about?

Pupil: They found fleas on Pluto!


Q: Did you ever taste the sun?

A: No, but I've heard it's outta this world!


Cool Teenage Martian: I was at a party on Mercury last night.

His Friend: Was it any good?

Cool Teenage Martian: No! It was really boring.

His Friend: How come?

Cool Teenage Martian: There was no atmosphere.


Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped on chewing gum?

He got stuck in Orbit!


Jupiter came down to Earth one day and decided to help these two

criminals to rob a bank. Anyway, to make a long story short,

they got caught and the three of them found themselves in court.

The judge sentenced the two earthlings to fifteen years, and Jupiter

was a bit shocked when he was sentenced to ten years.

"But your honour" said Jupiter, "I didn't even take part in the robbery!"

"Yes" said the judge. "But you helped them ... Planet!".



Child: Why did the woman drop so much money on the moon?

Dad: I don't know, Son. Why don't you tell me why the woman dropped

so much money on the moon?

(Editor's apology: The following punchline will only amuse Irish readers!)

Child: She felt sorry for the poor craters!


What do moon peolple do when they get married?

They go off on their honeyearth!


The Rollerbladers

Two young Martians were travelling past Earth one day

when they noticed two kids rollerblading at breakneck speed along the footpath.

"How on Earth do they do that?" said one of the Martians?


The Rollerbladers Part 2

    The two young Martians were so impressed that they swooped down straight away,

killed the 2 Californians and made off with their rollerblades.

Their mother was angry with them when they got back to Mars.

"You're late for your dinner again and ... where on Earth did you get those?"


The Jupiter Beauty Contest Authorities have launched

a bitter attack on their Earth counterparts. In a strongly-worded

press release, they have pointed out that in the last 37 years every

single winner of the Miss Universe competition has been an Earth woman !!


Those 2 young Martians were back on Earth again last week.

They were cruising through Manister when they suddenly got the urge

to try some Earth food. They had no local currency so they

decided to steal some Mars Bars from the local shop. They slipped

into the shop, while the shopkeeper wasn't looking and slipped out again unnoticed.

"Stop! You never paid for those!" shouted the shopkeeper.

The Martians dropped the bars and ran. They hopped on their bike, and zoomed

back to the mothership. Their mother was furious with them:

"You should be ashamed of yourselves. You couldn't even take a few

Mars Bars from an Earthshop without getting caught. What happened?"

"I don't know how the shopkeeper saw us" said one of the young Martians

"She must have eyes in the front of her head !"


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